pettingMyPeeve

Tonight, boys and girls, I'm going to be talking to you about pet peeves. And to be honest with you, I do have quite a few of these hang-ups, but worry not, because I will not go into ALL of them...just one mainly, with the occasional unitentional rant about another.

One of my biggest pet peeves is having someone else speak for me. Not on my behalf, mind you, but speak FOR me, as if they are me, as if they know exactly what is flowing through my mind at that very moment. I will use my experience at work this afternoon. Trapped in a conversation with two apparent descendants of Cinderella's step-siblings, I found myself in a silent inner rage as one of the hens literally started an arguement about how they "know me." "Oh no, I hate to tell you sweetie, but I KNOW you and that just isn't the case" I was told. Hello! "You KNOW me?" I asked, almost in a hysterical outburst? "And why do you think you know me?" "Because I've worked with you over the past few years" was the reply. I know this is going to sound so incredibly cliched, but it is true what they say about people who assume things.

Speaking for me, that is pet peeve number one. Pet peeve number two is this: People who assume they know me. To any random individual with whom I've had a decent amount of contact with over an extended period of time, I will gladly ask this question: "How in the world do you think you know me when I don't even know myself?" It's the truth. To this day, I am still getting to know who I am, and I believe that to be true for most people. Life isn't just about growing older and getting from point A to point B, it's also about the constant state of evolution we all find ourselves in. It's about unavoidable change, and learning to recognize that, and learning to familiarize yourself with who you are on a daily basis. People who I've know for years still may not know me. In fact, I know that they don't, because what you may know of me does not go beyond what I allow you to know. I do not bring my personal matters to work, and I honestly try not to bring work matters into my personal life. What goes on inside of my house stays within the walls of my house. What is discussed between myself and a trusted friend stays between myself and that friend.

Who do you think you are to stand there and tell me that you know me? What do I like to do in my spare time? Because I've mentioned that I may enjoy the same television program that you enjoy, does that mean you know me? Because I may have mentioned what restaurant I ate at this past weekend, does that mean you know what occupies my spare time? Did you know that I enjoy trying my hand at painting? Did you know that I really do enjoy the outdoors? Did you know that if I could pick any fantasy to come true, I'd pick the one that had me travelling in space? Did you know that "God Moving Over The Face of The Water" is probably my favorite piece of music ever? What's my favorite movie? Book? Author? Did you know that I went through 28 days of intensive psychotherapy to help me cope and overcome social anxiety...agoraphobia...and even depression? Did you know that I speak to God on a daily basis? My guess is that someone I am acquainted with would not be able to answer any of those questions, yet they'd assume, verbally, to my face, that they know me. Horseshit.

I do not let people know any more than I want them to know...so at first it amuses me, then it begins to irritate me. There are a few people on this earth who know me quite well...I've chosen to let them in. But I do not let in that many...letting people in gives them ammunition. It gives them greater power to one day do some significant damage, no matter how accidental or unintentional it may be. The people that I trust enough to confide in, I can count on both hands, and they are a treasured few. I don't know. Maybe this is an extremely unhealthy way to live my life, but that is part of who I am...that much, I will share.

The point I am trying to make is this: People in general, are an enigma. Don't ever presume to know more than you can actually back up. And don't speak for someone when they're standing right there in front of you. We were all given minds and the ability to voice what passes through them...even though a lot of that is pure nonsense, we should still give everyone the right to speak for themselves...and when they're done, that's when we can make fun of them! Yeah...good times!

'Night...